Dustin looked at the water on his fingertips with a confused look. I cried? He couldn’t believe it. But tears were flowing from his eyes. He looked at Andra for a moment in trance. Even in the midst of this, Andra’s wrinkled face did not seem to straighten out.
"You are crying right?"
Silence came for a moment. The two looked at each other with bewildered expressions.
It was Dustin who turned away first. He quickly turned his back and, without a chance for Andra to catch him—even though she didn’t intend to— left the place and ran away. Andra let out a low sigh as she saw Dustin disappear in the blink of an eye.
It was unbelievable even when she saw it with her own eyes. Dustin Airak was in tears in front of her. And on top of that, it happened so out of the blue and while they were arguing. Moreover, as soon as he showed those tears, he ran away.
Andra smirked as Dustin, who had grabbed her arm till then, disappeared.
She caressed her throbbing arm and looked to the side where Dustin had disappeared. And she moved her steps towards her room, with a face still in shock. By the way, why did he cry?
Andra was confused, unable to understand why Dustin was crying. But soon she gave up trying to understand Dustin.
What’s the point of knowing? It didn’t matter to her. It probably had nothing to do with her that Dustin Airak just shed tears in front of her.
‘I don’t like it though.’
Why was he acting like a victim?
Andra sighed, grimacing at the pain she felt in her arm. It should be better so she won’t get a bruise.
Damn Dustin Airak.
* * *
F*ck, f*ck, f*ck!
Curses came out at random. Dustin returned to his room, leaned his back against the door, and took a deep breath.
As soon as he noticed that he was showing tears in front of Andra, his heart started pounding. Even now, only the sound of his heartbeat was resounding.
He grabbed his chest. He felt his heart beating like crazy in his palm.
‘Why the hell am I…’
Grumbling around his now dry eyes, Dustin trembled anxiously. His hand still felt wet with his tears. Crazy, crazy. This time, he ruffled his hair roughly with both hands. In an instant, his head went into a mess.
Still, he couldn’t calm down. His goddamn heart just kept beating hard against his will. He didn’t know why, but he felt like he was doing something he should never have done, and this added to his anxiety.
Dustin walked in and kicked the chair. As he tried to hide his anxiety, he started to get angry on his own. Crash, the chair made a loud noise and fell to the floor. But his anxiety did not go away. Rather, it was aggravated as if strangling his neck. He was all choked up and couldn’t breathe.
Crying in front of Andra Avellin.
Why the hell?
He couldn’t understand. Even though it was his own actions, he couldn’t understand it himself, so it was very frustrating.
For an Airak to shed tears in front of an Avellin? It’s a disgrace. Not only will it become a ridicule that will never disappear, but he will not be able to raise his head from this shame.
Dustin couldn’t contain his anger and threw the table over. The heavy table fell to the floor with a dull sound.
‘Are you… crying now?’
Andra’s words, while bewildered as if she was thinking who on earth was he to cry right now, came back to his mind. Dustin let out a small yell at the voice and ripped his hair out.
To cry in front of nobody else but Andra! It kept bothering him. Dustin, who had plucked his innocent hair, then lifted his head.
‘It’s all because of Andra Avellin.’
He decided to shift the blame to Andra, for his mental health. Looking back, it’s not like Andra didn’t do anything wrong.
She chose only words that offended Dustin’s heart. Because of that, Dustin’s insides seemed to be shattered. So, shouldn’t he be upset?
‘You mean you want to die every time you sleep with me?’
Dustin gritted his teeth.
‘And then you think of another man…’
This time, he clenched his fists.
Dustin took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
‘How can you say things like that so casually?’
Andra has always been like that. She always kept her head high and picked out words that scratched at his heart. In the beginning, he blocked them out, but after their bad relationship had turned into a deeper one, these words openly took down Dustin without mercy. After that, she often walked away with a face saying, "I don’t know." She didn’t count the person who saw it and heard it all.
It was the same before. All the words that were constantly pouring out towards Dustin made him tormented. The feelings and emotions he felt. She dismissed all of that as if it was nothing but garbage. Because of those words, Dustin felt like his skin was being cut away.
‘Andra Avelin, who are you to deny me?’
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Dustin felt angry and frustrated when Andra denied his feelings, even though he couldn’t even judge for himself how he felt. At the same time, an unknown anger rose from the depths. So he decided to redirect his anger towards Andra.
He cried because of Andra.
Those tears only came out because of the unbearable rage he felt after she tried to erase and deny his existence.
That was all.
So Dustin tried to think that way. If he didn’t, he had no way of explaining why he had shed tears.
But all of a sudden he noticed something strange. He stood tall and stared into the air.
‘But why do I have to do this because of Andra Avellin?’
The way Andra denied and turned away from Dustin was something she had done before. It was common for her to scoff at Dustin and laugh at him.
Because they were like that, the two didn’t get hurt and lived their own separate lives, dismissing such words as nothing but bullcrap. Of course, he got angry at times when it went too far, but it wasn’t enough that he’d shed tears.
‘Because of Andra Avellin?’
Dustin looked down at the floor with a hardened face.
He wondered why he cared about Andra.
Her words, actions, expressions, every gesture.
Dustin realized he cared for Andra more than ever. And he’s more agitated than ever at her remarks. Why? Why? His mind was a jumbled mess.
He felt a chill down his spine. A feeling he had never felt anywhere else wrapped around his ankles and rose upwards.
‘You really need to know how stupid you are.’
Andra’s sneering voice rings in his ears. Dustin looked up at his shaking hands. And once again a single stream of water ran down his cheek.
Transparent water droplets pooled on his chin and fell to the floor.
‘Don’t get me wrong, Dustin Airak.’
Who do you think you are?
Just who do you think you are.
‘You are nothing.’
Dustin did not say anything for a long while.
* * *
The man’s expression darkened as he looked out the window at the blue sky. It looked like there were dark clouds on his face. The man let out a long sigh. It was when he was worried that he might not find anything and just walk in a place like this.
At some point, the man’s eyes began to shine sharply. His deep red eyes were dyed with joy. As if the dark clouds had cleared and the sun had risen, he rolled up the corners of his mouth.
‘Someone woke up Nera.’
He could feel the wave that had just happened with his whole body. This was because the only traces of the gods that remained in this world were greatly shaken.
If so, this was the start. He had to make more disturbances so that Nera, the god of greed and conflict, could surely find him. God will want it, and he will gain strength from it.
Although he hated that he had to meet Nera again, it couldn’t be helped.
If only he could meet his god again, he could do anything. Therefore, he was able to destroy and break any number of things for the sake of his god, even the human family, whom he cherished and loved so much,
Of course he would not like it, but in this situation, there was no other way than to borrow Nera’s power.
If the gods did not exist, then he, too, had no reason to exist.
Because everything he had was there to dedicate it to her.
It was only because of his god that humankind was able to endure so far in the darkness of nothing.
‘Ah, my God. A little bit more… Please wait a little longer.’
The beginning may be on the other side of the continent, but to reach the end, he must come here. Because his god hid here the last time.
So, the man had to build an altar for the gods and wait for Nera, who would come to find him here.
‘God, I will definitely find you.’
The man smiled with a face full of emotion as if he was about to burst into tears. That’s when a presence came from behind. The man completely changed his expression as if he had ever been like that. Now, only the man with a serious and heavy expression was looking out the window.
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The man looked back. The red-haired knight, Wesser, was standing there. Seeing the man smiling at him, he opened his mouth, trying to silence the unpleasant feelings that he had.
"The Count is looking for you."
"I think he must have news from the scouts."
"Yes, that’s why he was looking for Sir Henzen urgently."
Seze nodded his head. He looked out the window once more and began to follow Wesser.