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Chapter: 14.5


The bright light above her remained.The three men on the stage except for Wooyoung stood up with their microphones and began walking to the center of the stage as they sang in harmony. 

I fell in love when I was 17.

Thinking of you, who isn’t by my side anymore…

I wonder why I didn’t know then.

Why didn’t I hold on to you?

The thought of you used to brighten my day.

You were 17. A girl that reminded me of flowers.

I was 17. I was an immature boy.  

I like the gentle autumn wind.

The first kiss tasted of the spring sun.

Everyone in the audience was staring at Wooyoung, who remained seated as if he didn’t have the strength to stand up. Meanwhile, Wooyoung’s eyes were glued to her seat. Three members of the Strawberry Fields were singing so beautifully as if they weren’t aware of Wooyoung sitting behind them.

I fell in love when I was 17…

Thinking of you, who isn’t by my side anymore…

Suddenly, Wooyoung’s face crumpled and tears began to roll down from his eyes. Saeun covered her mouth in shock. How could a 28-year-old man cry in front of thousands of his fans like that? How could he cry for someone like her? 

He was an idiot. 

Saeun stood up. The bouquet of flowers she bought fell onto the ground, but she didn’t care. She pushed away the other people and began heading toward the stage. Her legs shook and her eyes blurred from tears, which was why she kept bumping into the seats. But thankfully, she didn’t bump into anyone. In fact, everyone on her way moved aside for her. A clear path appeared to the stage for her.

I wonder why I didn’t know then.

Why didn’t I hold on to you?

The thought of you used to brighten my day.

You were 17. A girl that reminded me of flowers.

"Saeun…" 

Saeun couldn’t hear Wooyoung’s voice, but she saw his lips move to say her name. Strangely, it felt like he was whispering right into her ear. 

Saeun. Hey. Class President. Class Pres. Yun Saeun…

Her voice refused to work as well as she whispered,

"I’m sorry…"

She was openly sobbing now and her heart ached terribly. Tears wet her whole face as she whispered again,

"I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It’s my fault."

Wooyoung staggered as he stood up and dashed forward toward her. The other three members who were singing moved aside to let him pass. They were still stinging, but they were watching Wooyoung and Saeun with interest.

Wooyoung kneeled on the stage, his face red as he continued to sob. Saeun reached up to him from below the stage and murmured, 

"I had no idea you were suffering. I… I… I really didn’t know. I thought you would be fine."

Touching his hair, she whispered,

"I’m sorry…"

I was 17. I was an immature boy.  

I like the gentle autumn wind.

The first kiss tasted of the spring sun.

Wooyoung reached down to grab her hands. His face still crumpled, he sobbed, 

"I… I can’t live without you. I just can’t…"

He grasped her hand so hard that they hurt. Wiping his tears with one hand, Wooyoung looked down at her and yelled,

"I was going to do everything for you! I would do anything for you! So why did you leave? Look at you! Why do you look so thin and sad… Why did you do it?! Why did you run from me?!"

"I didn’t want to see you suffer too! My brother… He was going to torment me forever, and I knew it would sadden you too. I didn’t want you to have to go through that. That’s why I left… I left so it would be easier for you…," Saeun screamed. 

Because Wooyoung was no longer holding his microphone, no one could hear them. But at this point, Wooyoung and Saeun didn’t care about anyone else. All Saeun wanted to do was make Wooyoung understand why she did what she did. It was all for him. She left because she wanted him to have a happy life. 

But seeing him so thin and unhappy broke her heart. She couldn’t stop crying, and it seemed that Wooyoung couldn’t either. He wiped away his tears again with the back of his hand and gazed at her. He murmured, 

"Not having you by my side was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I can’t live without you. I can’t do anything when you’re not with me. This concert and my job… I just couldn’t do it… And it was because you left me. I felt like I’m dying. It hurt so badly that I thought I was going to die. Do you understand that? My heart ached so much that I thought I was dying!"

Saeun sobbed,

"I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I really am. I… it was really hard for me too. I thought I was dying too. I wanted to die… I really did…"

Wooyoung reached down to hug her tightly. Feeling her feet being lifted a little, Saeun wrapped her arms around his neck and began crying even harder. She whispered in his ear,

"I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I won’t do it again. I won’t ever leave you again. I… I can’t live without you either. I didn’t want to live at all. I won’t leave you again. Please forgive me. I’m sorry."


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